Therapy for Perfectionism

What is Perfectionism?​

Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting things to go well — it’s the belief that you must get everything right in order to feel worthy, safe, or in control. While striving for excellence can be healthy, perfectionism becomes harmful when mistakes feel unbearable, and self-worth depends on achievement or others’ approval.

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In Canada, mental health trends show that younger people are reporting poorer outcomes and increased strains, which often link with perfectionistic traits like high standards, fear of failure or constant self-evaluation. For example, among youth and young adults aged 12-25, the prevalence of a mood and/or anxiety disorder increased between 2015 and 2021.

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Another indicator: in 2023, about 26% of youth aged 16-21 rated their mental health as “fair” or “poor”, up from 12% when they were aged 12-17 in 2019.

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These numbers reflect more than general stress — they signify that underlying factors such as self-criticism, high achievement pressures, and difficulty tolerating imperfection may be part of what’s going on for many clients.

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Common Signs of Perfectionism​

You might struggle with perfectionism if you:

• Set unrealistically high expectations for yourself

• Feel anxious, guilty or ashamed when you fall short

• Avoid starting projects for fear of not doing them “perfectly” or "your best"

• Constantly compare yourself to others

• Struggle to accept praise or feel satisfied with achievements

• Experience burnout from overworking or overthinking

• Feel like your self-worth depends on how much you do or how well you perform

 

Perfectionism can look like success on the outside — but on the inside, it often feels like constant pressure, fear, and exhaustion.

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How Does Perfectionism Develop?​

Perfectionism often begins as a way to cope — to gain approval, avoid criticism, or feel in control. You may have grown up in environments where achievement was highly valued or where mistakes were met with disappointment or shame.

 

Over time, striving for perfection can become a way to protect yourself from failure, rejection, or feeling “not enough.” But what once felt like motivation often turns into anxiety, self-criticism, or emotional numbness.

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Common roots of perfectionism include:

• Early experiences of high parental or cultural expectations

• Fear of judgment or failure

• Tying self-worth to achievement or productivity

• Difficulty tolerating uncertainty or vulnerability

• Trauma or unstable environments where control felt like safety

 

Therapy can help you understand these roots — and begin rewriting the story that keeps you chasing impossible standards.

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When Should I Seek Therapy For Perfectionism?​​

It might be time to reach out for help if you:

• Feel like nothing you do is ever enough

• Constantly overthink or procrastinate out of fear of mistakes

• Experience burnout, anxiety or physical tension

• Struggle to rest or relax without guilt

• Have trouble celebrating your wins or slowing down

• Feel like your worth is tied to achievement, appearance or productivity

 

Therapy can help you develop a kinder inner voice, create realistic expectations, and reconnect with joy, purpose, and ease — beyond performance.

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How Can Reclaim Psychotherapy Help?​

At Reclaim Psychotherapy, we specialize in helping high achievers, perfectionists and caregivers release patterns of over-control and self-criticism. Our approach is compassionate, evidence-based, and tailored to your needs — helping you move from “never enough” toward self-acceptance and freedom.

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Our therapists draw from:

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Identify and challenge perfectionistic thought patterns that fuel anxiety and guilt.

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Learn to take meaningful action guided by your values, not fear or pressure.

• Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT): Develop self-compassion and reduce harsh inner criticism.

• Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT): Process underlying emotions like fear, shame or sadness that drive perfectionistic patterns.

• Mindfulness-Based Therapy (MBT): Cultivate awareness and self-acceptance in the present moment, without judgment.

 

Together, we’ll help you build a new relationship with yourself — one rooted in kindness, balance, and authenticity.

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